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Internet
Dating
Q:
I've been divorced for five years. I have two teenage kids. I want to meet
someone and start dating again, but it sure is difficult. It's been a long
time since I dated, and I'm not very good at the bar scene. I am a little
bit introverted, especially when I first meet someone. I've visited some of
the online personal sites, and I'm thinking about internet dating. I think
it would be easier to start dating online than "in person", but
have some concern about the risks. Any advice for me?
A:
E-mail is a great way to break the barrier when you first meet someone. If
you feel overwhelmed when you visit the personals, an alternative is to visit
chat rooms on a subject that interests you.
Many e-daters prefer to use personal sites that charge a fee, because the
fee paid provides you with computer-generated matches, and gives you a way
to connect with people while protecting your anonymity until you choose to
reveal yourself. Take the time to create a profile that accurately reflects
who you are.
If you post a photo, you will get more responses than if you don't. Keep your
expectations about appearances realistic, because you will get to know each
other by writing, and appearance is certainly not everything!
Be sensible about giving out personal information, trust your instincts and
don't be deterred by people seeking only sexual encounters. They show up at
every bar and party, so why should the web be different?
In some ways, online dating seems old-fashioned. It is a new technology that
uses the old- fashioned method of letter writing. Writing to each other for
a long period of time before meeting or speaking to a person gives you a chance
to find out what's important. You don't get carried away by body language
and chemistry online. If a person writes to you, tell them something about
yourself in your reply. That invites them to do the same. Don't just write
about sunsets and walking on the beach.
Thank you for your question, and
I hope you find some interesting e-friends.
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