Coping with Invisible Illness

Q: I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. I have stopped working full time because I can't make it through the day. Although I am taking a tai chi class and supplements and herbs and trying to keep in good emotional health, it hasn't been easy. My doctor helped me to get a handicapped parking card for my car, so I can get out of the house sometimes, but people look at me as if I am not ill, and am "taking the parking place from someone who needs it." Even my family sometimes accuses me of exaggerating my condition. I have lost some of my friends because I don't have the energy to do things with me. I am going to try this online counseling, because it is more comfortable for me to do this at home, than go out and try to sit for an hour.

A: Chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia are often called "invisible diseases" because you often look better than you feel. You may feel discounted because people tell you how good you look. There are many of these invisible diseases, including migraine headaches, and pulmonary and cardiac diseases that you can't "see". Sometimes people don't understand that you can't keep up with the world, because you don't conform to what an ill person should look like, and how an ill person should act.

Painful diseases also have very great emotional and social effects on a person's life. You have lost some friends, because you just can't keep up with social relationships. When you don't keep up with your family, they get frustrated as well, and wonder if maybe you are overstating your illness.

I am happy to hear you are taking some steps to get support for yourself. Online counseling is a good alternative, as you can have the benefits of counseling in the comfort of your home, at a reasonable price. By having a healing relationship with a counselor who also supports your lifestyle and taking care of yourself, you are getting a holistic approach to your illness.

If you get comfort from Christian faith, the National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Web Site has some articles and resources that can be supportive.

Thank you for allowing me to share this question, and we will meet for online counseling for awhile.

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