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How do Others See Me?

Q:I was recommended to participate in group counseling to get feedback on how other people see me. I am considering this, but would like to know if you have any questionnaires that will give me an idea of how other people see.

A: I recently came across this mini-questionnaire that seems fairly accurate. You can try it. It's 10 questions. Get something to write with, keep track of your answer to each question (don't peek at the answers). Don't think too much about each question, as it is more accurate to mark down your first reaction.

1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you..
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with..
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for
someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and
you're interrupted......
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few
moments before going to sleep you are....
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they
should "handle With care."
You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you,wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting,
highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's
quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones.
They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh,
lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting;
someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently
well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible,
cautious, careful &practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented,
but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but
someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust In your friends, but equally that it takes you a long
time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as
painstaking and fussy. They see you as very
cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady
plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever
did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment,
expecting you to examine everything carefully
from every angle and then, usually decide against it.
They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy,
nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after,
who always wants someone else to make the
decisions &who doesn't want to get involved with anyone
or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

This is "popular psychology", so if you are doubtful about your score, don't let it upset you. Please let me know if you would like to discuss the results of this survey.

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