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He's a Nice Guy, But....

Q:I met the perfect "nice guy". He's kind, sensitive, sweet. He surprises me with small gifts and flowers. He's open, is available to talk with me about anything. He remembers everything I tell him, even the smallest details. So why I am I not attracted to him? Why am I always daydreaming about the jerks who treat me like they couldn't care less? What's wrong with me?

A: Guys ask, "why aren't women attracted to nice guys? Why do the jerks get the great women?"

It's possible that you just are not attracted to this guy.

Or you could be acting on a mistaken impression, confusing danger with chemistry, or a hot crush with lasting attraction. Or confusing the desire for a mate with being mature enough for one. You could be confusing "kind and sweet" with "boring oatmeal".

So maybe you should give yourself some time to see if the "spark" develops. Some kind of spark is essential for a lasting relationship, but that doesn't necessarily mean love (lust) at first sight. Companionship and intellectual relationships can develop into those sparks. Give yourself time to grow into the relationship if you think it could be a valuable one for you. Any maybe you just need some time to grow up. Mature women aren't tempted by the jerks.

Please let me know if you want to discuss this further, and let me know how you are doing.

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