Ask Calm Spirit Counselor Do you have
a question you would like to ask the counselor? Q:I am what I would describe as "middle class", I don't have money problems but I'm not rich either. After the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, I got up early and waited in line until stores opened to dash in and get the deeply discounted advertised bargains. I was really proud of the things I bought, some were gifts and some for myself. I tell myself that I don't need to wait outside the stores in the cold and dark, in a long line, then rush in and grab things to buy, but I do it anyway. And for some reason, I really seem to appreciate what I buy that I get a great deal on. For example, I bought a diamond pendant on sale the day after Thanksgiving, and when someone comments on it, I just have to tell them the story of how I got the bargain. I sort of gloat, and it kind of disturbs me that I do this. Why do you think I behave like this about bargains? A: For people trying to stretch a dollar, standing in line for a great bargain can truly make a difference. But for you, like many others, diving into shopping madness has more complex motives. On a basic level, one of our most primal instincts is to "bring home the bacon", whatever it takes, and by getting a great bargain by personal sacrifice reinforces a sense of mastery in your skillful procurement of a coveted item. When you're successful, the feeling is similar to bringing home the kill, even if the kill is a diamond pendant necklace. Spotting an item of perceived value taps into a survival instinct. When things are perceived to have value, we humans want it, whether it is a piece of meat, a job opportunity, or a diamond pendant. But the extent of the bargain is not the only thing that determines the value of an item. The pain and misery endured while procuring it count, too. The more suffering that goes into the purchase, the more valuable the item is perceived to be. This is enhanced even more when you see others suffering as well in the pursuit of the product. And the need to talk about your experience procuring your bargain is probably related to your middle class lifestyle. You probably don't NEED more things as much as you WANT more things. It used to be that we celebrated what we purchased. Now we purchase so much that we celebrate what we paid for our purchase. Instead of bragging how much we spent, we brag about how little we spent. It's a cultural sign of the times for many middle class people. So, now you understand why you enjoy your purchases so much when you suffer to get them, and get a great bargain.
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