learning from mistakes

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Do We Learn From Our Mistakes...or Not?

Q: I have always heard that we learn from our mistakes. But I see my children making the same mistakes over and over again. Why don't the learn?.

A: A recent study done at MIT showed a surprise about the long held belief that we learn from our mistakes. The study sheds light on the brain's ability to change in response to learning. Brain cells may only learn from experience when we do something right and not when we fail.

While monitoring brain cell activity, it was discovered that when a person succeeds in a task, the reward of success changes the brain. But failure didn't cause any change in the brain. The brain want to repeat the activity of the success, and so will seek to repeat that behavior, which is called learning.

So what does this mean in every day life? If you are a parent, and you are trying to change a behavior in your child, set up the situation so they will succeed. If your daughter never puts away her clothes after you get them out of the dryer, fold them and take them to her room, set them on her bed, try this: make sure she is in her room, or accompanies you to her room when you take her clothes to her, and then tell her you will both put them away, then praise her about how well she did it and then do something together she enjoys. The next time you give her the clothes, remind her of how you had time to do the activity together the last time she put her clothes away immediately, and then praise her. Her learning response in her brain will start working towards her doing it on her own. This is more rewarding to her brain than is yelling at her for clothes all over her room.

A woman wrote that since both she and her husband worked full time jobs, he agreed to "help" her with the housework (so okay, it SHOULD state "share" but some guys don't see it that way). His jobs were to keep the floors clean. But she expected him to do a good job, including using the crevice device near the walls and corners of the carpet. And she nagged him week after week because he "never learned". So she agreed to "help" him with his carpet sweeping, and pointed out how using the crevice device made the floor look so much cleaner, then praised him for doing such a good job. It turned out that sometimes he did a "good" job, sometimes he didn't, but he was more likely to clean the edges when she told him how happy she was when the carpet looked "so clean".

So experiment. If you are nagging at someone who keeps doing the same wrong thing over and over, try to set the situation up so they will succeed, their brain will feel the reward, and the likelihood of repeat positive performance will increase.

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Ask Calm Spirit Counselor Do you have a question you would like to ask the counselor? Click here to Ask the Counselor Do We Learn From Our Mistakes...or Not? Q: I have always heard that we learn from our mistakes. But I see my children making the same mistakes over and over again. Why don't the learn?. A: A recent study done at MIT showed a surprise about the long held belief that we learn from our mistakes. The study sheds light on the brain's ability to change in response to learning. Brain cells may only learn from experience when we do something right and not when we fail. While monitoring brain cell activity, it was discovered that when a person succeeds in a task, the reward of success changes the brain. But failure didn't cause any change in the brain. The brain want to repeat the activity of the success, and so will seek to repeat that behavior, which is called learning. So what does this mean in every day life? If you are a parent, and you are trying to change a behavior in your child, set up the situation so they will succeed. If your daughter never puts away her clothes after you get them out of the dryer, fold them and take them to her room, set them on her bed, try this: make sure she is in her room, or accompanies you to her room when you take her clothes to her, and then tell her you will both put them away, then praise her about how well she did it and then do something together she enjoys. The next time you give her the clothes, remind her of how you had time to do the activity together the last time she put her clothes away immediately, and then praise her. Her learning response in her brain will start working towards her doing it on her own. This is more rewarding to her brain than is yelling at her for clothes all over her room. A woman wrote that since both she and her husband worked full time jobs, he agreed to "help" her with the housework (so okay, it SHOULD state "share" but some guys don't see it that way). His jobs were to keep the floors clean. But she expected him to do a good job, including using the crevice device near the walls and corners of the carpet. And she nagged him week after week because he "never learned". So she agreed to "help" him with his carpet sweeping, and pointed out how using the crevice device made the floor look so much cleaner, then praised him for doing such a good job. It turned out that sometimes he did a "good" job, sometimes he didn't, but he was more likely to clean the edges when she told him how happy she was when the carpet looked "so clean". So experiment. If you are nagging at someone who keeps doing the same wrong thing over and over, try to set the situation up so they will succeed, their brain will feel the reward, and the likelihood of repeat positive performance will increase. Good luck. Let me know how things work out for you. ASK CALM SPIRIT ARCHIVES: NOT Grieving a Death Will Getting a Degree help me get a better job? What makes online counseling effective Visiting Sick People Weight Management for Life Am I Being Manipulate? Is my girlfriend a gold digger? Listening is a Gift of Love Depression Self Help Dealing with Misery at the Work Place Can I Change My Bad Luck? Benefits of Meditation Cutting back caffeine Holding a Grudge Shopping Madness Trust: Whose Problem is It? Is it My Fault My Girlfriend is Depressed? Problems with My Best Friend He's a Nice Guy, But (He's NOT a Jerk) Children and divorce Thyroid problems Eric and pregnancy Insomnia Codependency Pet Loss Internet Dating Back to School-Elementary Battleground: Early Adolescence Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Depression Jade, Qi and Body Health Ending a Relationship Boost Metabolism for Weight Loss Dealing with Bullies Helping Children Understand Alzheimer's Is Your Child Being Abused/Molested Coping with Invisible Illness Do I Need Anger Management? Teen and Trust: Sex Teens and R Rated Movies Realistic Resolutions Worry about War Alzheimer's and Aromatherapy Adult ADHD Grieving a Miscarriage Negative Self Talk-Your Own Worst Enemy Can Love Last Forever How Can I Un-love? Adult Whining Anger at Work-Dealing with Difficult People Sex with your Ex Agreeing to Disagree Am I a Control Freak? Am I a Fatalist? How Do Others See Me? My Boyfriend Doesn't Trust Me The Value of Meditation Helicopter Parents-Letting go of College Students How Do I Get Him Back? Home / Online Counseling Energy Healing Chinese Wellness Feng Shui Chinese Herbs and Tea China Travel Chinese Orphans Ying Yu Chinese Jade Entire contents of this website is copyright © 2000 Calm Spirit All rights are reserved. Copying of images or text is not permitted without written consent from Calm Spirit Please be respectful and understand that if you copy our work without permission you are infringing on our ability to make a living. Blog and Forum	b
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