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How do I know when to end my counseling?

Q. I've been going to a mental health counselor that I really like and has helped me very much for a little more than two years. I am feeling much better, have learned a lot, and feel like I am done with counseling, but my therapist has not told me it's time to be done with counseling. How do I know when it's time for me to stop my counseling?

A: I suggest you bring up this topic at your next therapy session. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your therapist. You have worked together to resolve your issues, and this is one of them you can also resolve.

Ask yourself if you are leaving your counseling because you feel ready to move on with your live, not because it has become difficult or unpleasant. Therapy does make you feel better, but part of it is difficult because it helps you understand yourself better, and that's often painful.

Some signs that it is time to leave counseling is when you feel like you are becoming dependent on your therapist, running ALL your decisions by your counselor. Also if your therapy is taking the place of building other relationships, that's a sign.

Here are some questions to help you decide if you are ready to leave:

• Are you functioning reasonably well?
• Do you have satisfying personal relationships?
• Are you feeling good about your life at this point in time?
• Do you feel capable of handling what life throws at you?

If you feel like you are ready, and your therapist disagrees, ask why, what would you gain from continuing, and what is the plan to meet those goals. You don't have to accept your therapist's answer, but she might have valuable insights.

And if you do stop, keep in mind you can always go back. It's OK to take a break, because you will learn much about yourself.

Hope that helps. Best to you, and keep in touch to let me know how it turns out.

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